Thursday, July 2, 2009


I am waiting. Tapping my foot, twiddling my thumbs, projecting.....yep, waiting.

Remember when we were kids, oh how we would wait for summer, just counting the minutes until school was out. And then, if things got boring in the 'hood, we would then start counting the days until school started again and we could see some of our friends we were missing.

Or waiting for a loved one to return; or a child to be born; or for the rain to stop, or start.

I am waiting for my ortho doctor's appointment on July 7th; waiting with anticipating, hoping that he will say: "toss out the walker, throw away the crutches, walk toward the sun my patient patient, dance in the rain, go find your kayak, dust off your bicycle, saddle up your dogs for a walk, take a hike, hit the yoga mat, go live your life again."

Wonder if he will say that? Probably not in those words. I would be happy with, "the xrays show that your bones have healed, walk as much as you can and do the best you can." That would work for me too.

The problem with waiting is two-fold. First, it keeps me from living in the moment where the real action is. Second, there is projection which could cause worry: what if he says I need another surgery, or have to stay on the walker. "What ifs" are killers -- toxic killers.

Life is in the present. The divine is in the present. Creation unfolds each moment of each day. I know how important it is to live mindfully in the moment, with intention, with kavannah. I know this like I know the path to the bathroom.

But I have to admit, it has been like struggling with an old trail pony who sees the barn ahead. Tugging myself back to the moment, each moment. At least I am alert to the drift of my mind into the future, and then I tug it back and try to keep it focused. Too bad duct tape or crazy glue doesn't work with wayward minds -- minds with a mind of their own.

My commitment as I go forth on yet another delightful rainy day is to keep dragging my dancing thoughts right back into the NOW -- again and again, as often as it takes.

With blessings to you for each of your moments.

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